Dazed and Confused
The Old Ben
Can I Be a Legend in My Own Mind?
I Was Having Fun But Wasn't Happy
Feeling Left Out and Hurt
Gay Escape
Muslim No More
Click here for more stories on how lives have been change

Dazed and Confused

By Andrea Chittleborough

I was confused and searching. Brought up to believe that my intelligence and humanity were the only answers I would need, I would soon find my beliefs shattered and my values found wanting.

I was brought up in an atheistic family. Before I met Christ, I had become bitter, suspicious, cynical, vengeful, proud and self-serving. I convinced myself that I was a good person yet deep down I was unhappy and unfulfilled. I abused substances because I thought I was more fun, social and relaxed in that state.

I was searching for truth and divine love. I believed in the supernatural and had explored astrology, astral travel, spiritualism and a number of religions.

Nothing persuaded me or really affected me . . . Those nagging questions remained unanswered, “Who am I?” “What am I doing here?” and “Does God exist?” I went to Europe in an effort to find whatever I was looking for.

While in Wales I saw God; he was there, his initial carved on the beauty of his creation, in an isolated Welsh lake or Cotswold patchwork of green. I even felt his presence in those moments. Upon my return to Australia, I excitedly told a Christian friend that I was no longer agnostic but that I had come to believe in God’s existence.

She congratulated me and then shared that the only way to truly know God was through Christ Jesus. That was too much for me! I told her I was not ready for that step . . . She suggested that I talk to God about that!

I was a humanist and a socialist. I felt that humans did not need help and could create their own destiny, their own good societies. The events of June 4, 1989 would change that view forever. I watch TV the next day as news services relayed the horrific and distressing images of thousands of my own race, gunned down by their army in Tiananmen Square, Beijing. I saw the truth of what humans were prepared to do to each other. I lost faith in the human race.

I went for a walk to clear my head but half way out I got caught in a downpour. Finding a bus shelter, I settled in to wait out the rain. There I cried out to God and, remembering the words of my Christian friend, I called on Jesus. Inside my heart was welling all the sorrow of my wrong doings towards others and God.

I apologized in tears and gave him my life. In that moment the rain stopped and rays of sunshine peeked through the dark clouds. I could almost hear the angles in heaven celebrating (as my friend said they would), or perhaps I did capture a faint note of a heavenly choir.

God has changed my life in marvelous and miraculous ways. He has changed my character so that I am no longer mistrustful or vengeful. I now have a hope and purpose, which once seemed fleeting and elusive. Now it is permanent. I have been emotionally and mentally healed of past trauma and regularly experience God’s presence and his love. The greatest miracle remains the changes he has effected in me, and this miracle takes place every day.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT ANDREA ABOUT HER STORY CLICK HERE

The Old Ben

By Ben Aldridge

Well, you could say that I was brought up from a young age in Christian surroundings like church, Sunday school and youth group. It was fun and enjoyable being a part of it all with good friends and my family. But then one Sunday my Dad told my Mum that he wasn’t going to go to church so I also decided to hang out with my Dad instead of going. This went on for about two years except for the odd time I would go to youth group with my friends.

When I was about fourteen years old my Dad left the family home. I was so upset. Tears were flowing. I didn’t know what was going. I felt so hurt and heart broken. A couple of months later I asked Dad if I could come and live with him, he said “yes”. By that time I was becoming very rebellious and making bad choices. By the age of fifteen I was drinking lots and smoking. It wasn’t long and I was smoking dope (marijuana). My grades were falling and the school had had enough of my bad attitudes and asked me to leave (before finishing year 10).

After several years of jumping from job to job, still drinking heavily, taking just about any drug that I could get my hands on and sleeping around, I still felt unfulfilled with my life. I knew that there must be something more to life than just this. Even the thought of having a house, wife, kids and nice car still seemed boring to me.

At twenty five, living with a girlfriend and recovering from a broken ankle, two of my sisters and my mum asked me to go to a church meeting. They’d been asking me for sometime, but I always thought “what for?” On one Sunday in April 1999 I said yes to their invitation.

I went to this church with my sister Sam and my Brother in-law David. When we got there my mum and other sister where there also, along with many other familiar faces which I had met through my mum and sisters. The music started and everyone began to sing. After a short time I started to join in. Once the singing was over we sat down to hear a man preach from the Bible. I didn’t understand it all but for some reason what he said agreed with me. Towards the end of his talk he asked if there was anyone who would like to respond to what he had said in his message . . . He spoke of God’s Son Jesus, how he came to save us and set us free from sin and the power it holds over our lives. He said if we would “receive” Jesus we would also live with him for eternity.

The preacher asked everyone who wanted to respond to come to the front of the church, and so I did . . . Something inside me was saying “yes, yes, go for it”. So at the front of the church I stood with others who also responded to the message. The preacher then asked if we would say a prayer to God . . . A prayer of forgiveness from our sins and living our lives for ourselves. We would now live for Jesus and acknowledge that he is the one true saviour and we would make him to be Lord of our lives. Wow, as I was praying from my heart and through my mouth I could feel something changing. It was like a heavy burden was being released off my shoulders. As the tears ran down my face I knew that God had accepted me and changed who I was all because I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

My life had changed radically, and so quickly on a spiritual level, but I felt I had to still make changes in my practical life. I ended the relationship with my girlfriend and moved in with my sister and brother in-law. I stopped drinking. I never touched another drug since that day I meet Jesus Christ. I also asked God to help me stop smoking cigarettes and to give me a hatred for them. Within 2 months I was free from the habit.

I know what it is to be born again of the Spirit of God because to this day I have a relationship with God through his Son Jesus. It’s such an honor and privilege to personally know God, to be in His family and to allow His transforming power make me more like His son Jesus day by day. He is an awesome God and getting to know Him is the best!

A Christian life isn’t always easy but it’s worth it, just knowing that I am loved by the almighty God and that a great price has been paid for my life through Jesus Christ. So if you are reading this, all I can say is it’s never too late and it doesn’t matter where you’ve been.

Give your life to Jesus now!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT BEN ABOUT HIS STORY CLICK HERE

Can I Be a Legend in My Own Mind?

By Malcolm Munro

I was from a migrant family and found it hard to fit in at school because of the cultural differences. This caused me to have very low self-esteem, which followed me into my teenage years. As I became older I became increasingly aware of my fears and weaknesses, so I concentrated on what I was good at, and involved myself in the music industry in an attempt to find my place and identity—to prove I was worth something.

I played many concerts and venues covering everything from music bowls to pubs and clubs. I figured that we’re all given one chance at life and this would be my way receiving worth, popularity and love . . . all the good things that I craved. Unfortunately my playing never gave me any lasting relief from the void that I felt inside.

I hated the way some people were lifted up in life and almost worshipped, yet the majority of society (like myself) groveled for acceptance. This didn’t seem fair. I soon realized that life isn’t fair—it’s full of pain and uncertainties. The chances of it changing this seemed unlikely. . . I was but a grain of sand in a universe beyond comprehension.

Religion didn’t inspire me much. I had grown up going to church but the good religious people portrayed seemed distant, unapproachable and irrelevant to me. I had no desire to be like those who spoke of God.

As I reached my 19^th birthday, I accepted an invitation to another kind of church. I didn’t really know what to expect; assuming it would be either a total bore or a raving pantomime! There was however a weird feeling in the air. I could not explain it only to say that I felt really bad about myself and about the failures in my life. It was as if all the pain and rejection I had felt all my life was being drawn down to this one moment . . . I felt terrible. I began to weep. Usually this would be really embarrassing, but this time I didn’t seem to care.

During the meeting the speaker asked if anyone wanted to meet Jesus and accept him as their Lord and Savior. I didn’t really understand what he meant by this, but I found acknowledging his request. I cried out in my heart for this Jesus to rescue me from the past and myself. As I was standing there, I sensed a huge wave of power, like electricity overwhelms me. It was like liquid fire pouring through every part of my being. With it came the realization of whom Jesus was. The pain, the hurt of the past, the low self-esteem and all the wrong I had done was replaced with the knowledge that the Creator and King of the Universe loved me.

From this point on my sense of worth became based on the truth that God loves me for who I am. Also that He had created me for a purpose and with destiny. He has taught me over the years that he loves me unconditionally, with a perfect love. I also have a desire to please Him brought about by a sense of gratitude, not demand.

I am worth something because the God of the universe gave Himself to die for me through Jesus Christ. He did this that I might be presented acceptable to Him.

Where does your sense of worth come from?

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT MALCOLM ABOUT HIS STORY CLICK HERE

I Was Having Fun But Wasn't Happy

By Dave Moore

I was brought up in a Christian home. I’d been taught Christian beliefs ever since I was a little boy, but never really knew God.

In high school I turned away from what I’d been taught and started living for myself. There seemed to be so much on offer in the things I saw around me so I started smoking weed, drinking to name a couple of “school activities’.

At first it was fun but deep inside I knew something was not right. In the midst of all the fun I really wasn’t happy—I was miserable on the inside.

Every time I’d listen to my heart I knew what I was doing was not bringing me the happiness I was looking for. But by after a while I was too far in and couldn’t get out.

I had heard that if I’d turn my heart to Jesus he would help me. I decided that my life was going nowhere and the things I thought would make me happy were actually destroying me. So I cried out to Jesus, asked him to make the changes that needed to take place in my life. I gave him all that I was by turning my heart towards him.

From that day on God took away the desire for drugs. He gave me the life of freedom I had been searching for in the wrong places.

This world has so many things that on the surface promise so much, but the truth is those things fail to deliver. My life great now . . . It’s like an adventure, never knowing what’s around the corner . . . I’m looking forward to what it brings.

If you think that life is about having fun, you’re right but don’t be fooled into thinking that the world can offer you true fulfillment. Everything takes on new meaning when you discover the one who created it!

If you don’t know God you’ll never find real happiness. If you listen to your heart you’ll know what I’m saying is true.

If you’re searching like I was, and you can be honest about that, you can call out to Jesus and your life will be changed—just like mine was!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT DAVE ABOUT HIS STORY CLICK HERE

Feeling Left Out and Hurt

By Lizzie Moore

I met Jesus Christ when I was eight years old. I have to admit, life with Jesus has been the most wonderful experience I could ever imagine, but it hasn’t been easy.

In my first year of high school my two best friends started a rumor that I was gay. I’m not gay, but the rumor spread throughout the whole school. As a result most of the students were scared of me and rejected me. People would whisper about me in class, in the canteen line and when they walked past me.

I knew what they were saying but couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. I found it hard to become close to friends. Even after I left school I still carried a rejection deep within me.

Everyday I lived believing that I had to earn people’s approval or just pretend that I was ok in their sight. I couldn’t even go out for dinner without wondering who’s looking at me and thinking that I’m gay and rejecting me for something I’m not. It got to the point where I didn’t even believe that my parents or even God loved me.

One day while in prayer Jesus came to me, stirring the depths of my soul, bringing all my rejection to the surface. I asked a friend for help, as the pain was unbearable. She took me to the church where the only person available was someone who I thought hated me. As he prayed with me Jesus took away all the pain and rejection that I had felt for so long. That night I was so happy I walked around like I was in a daze or was drunk. I looked at friends that I’d known for years and realized for the first time in my life that they truly loved me. Most importantly though, I look at Jesus and knew without a doubt that he truly loves me.

Since that day I have been free to be myself and have become very close to many friends. Jesus is my closest friend though, who I rely on for everything because I know him personally. I’ve also learnt to trust him completely and have become secure in myself because I know that my whole life is in his hands and he will not let me fall.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT LIZZIE ABOUT HER STORY CLICK HERE

Gay Escape

by Steve Sutton

From about the age of eleven or twelve I had recognised that there was a distinct difference between myself and my buddies at school, although no one would have ever guessed it.

The distinguishing feature had nothing to do with anything external as I was very much a part of the ‘in’ crowd during my High School years, being a confident and outgoing kid who excelled at sport.

The factor that set me apart (and tore me apart) was the rising tide of sexual attraction I felt toward those of the same gender.

I find it amazing when people suggest that homosexuality is a choice. What young boy of eleven chooses to feel things that his school friends and his TV screen tell him are abnormal and sick? I never for one moment chose nor wanted the sexual desires that haunted me at the advent of my adolescence. If I could have changed, believe me, I would have given anything to be like all my friends who talked so easily about there attraction to the opposite sex.

However, there was no magic wand and no amount of wishing seemed able to dissolve the ever increasing mountain of passion that I felt toward other males.

Exposure of my gay feelings became my ultimate fear so I was relegated to a life of pretence and deception. I lied to my friends about liking girls etc, even forcing myself to go out with them occasionally to mask my true sexual preference.

Despair, guilt and isolation were the other hallmarks of my early teenage years. Despair because I felt these unwanted desires were unchangeable. Guilt because of the sense of moral degradation. Isolation because I thought no one in the world could identify with what I was experiencing.

Somehow as I grew into my mid teens the inner crisis waned a little as I came to recognise there were others out their just like me and I began to long for the day when I could pick up the courage to make contact with other gay men.

My grand entry into active homosexuality came via an article I read in a magazine regarding a network of gay and lesbian youth groups established to help young people come to terms with their homosexuality.

From this point of contact I embarked on my foray into a gay lifestyle with great unbridled passion. No words can describe the release I felt in 'coming out' at the age of seventeen after keeping the dark secret of my sexual desires hidden so well, for so long.

The gay circle into which I entered opened up a whole new world for me. Not only did I find the freedom of sexual expression that I had ached for but also a sense of belonging that was gained from my association with the gay community and a hedonistic way of living that appealed to my senses.

I enjoyed thoroughly a two year period of sexual practice, parties and regular excessive alcohol and drug use. Life was at an all time high.

The overt effeminate mannerisms which I had developed, the odd comments here and there, the places I frequented and the friends I brought home gave very clear signals to my parents that their eldest son was gay.

To say that my father did not cope with my homosexuality would be an understatement. His ultimatum was loud and clear. Change or you're out of our home and our lives for good.

My parents suggestion of change was laughable. How could I alter something that was an intrinsic part of my being? It was like asking a lion to change its nature and become a lamb. I was incapable of doing so and to be quite honest I had long since lost the desire to be straight. I was gay and that's the way I was and that's the way I would stay!

My only concession was that I agreed to go with them to see a psychiatrist! The visit to the therapist read like a soap opera script; mum cried, dad ranted and raved while I sat calmly with my brightly dyed orange hair hoping the event would come to an end so I could go and get on with my life.

But something quite unexpected took place which I was completely unprepared for. The doctor in summing up his diagnosis of my sexuality made a remark that shook me to the core. "Stephen is ok, he's fine, in my estimation there is nothing wrong with him."

I thought I would have been delighted to hear it finally decreed and certified that my sexuality was not a problem, rather, in an instant those words drew from the recesses of my heart an acute awareness that I was not fine, I was not ok and in reality I had major problems not only within the context of my sexual orientation but my whole life and personality was thwart with inadequacies. I saw myself in a moment as a pitiful creature in desperate need of help.

The visit to the psychiatrist came to an end without anyone else knowing what was taking place within my heart and mind, I simply agreed that it would be best if I left home and family to pursue my homosexuality elsewhere.

However, the thoughts that had mysteriously invaded in the therapists office lingered and became an almost constant companion.

From that point there was birthed a sense of dissatisfaction with almost every aspect of my life resulting in a crisis similar to that which I experienced as a young boy coming to terms with my homosexuality. Only this time my once rampant sexual appetite somehow became dormant and nothing I could do seemed able to rouse it.

Darkness and confusion also began to reign over my mind to the degree that at times I thought I was going insane.

A number of months prior to my visit to the doctor I had begun a new job and a young lady by the name of Sylvana I worked with had become a close friend. Apart from having a vibrant personality I also enjoyed talking with her about her new-found Christian faith. Sylvana's perspectives of God and issues of morality although not in line with my own did interest me and heightened my keenness for the supernatural.

I was a regular attendee at a spiritualist church and fascinated by anything of a mystical nature. I had studied astrology and plotted astrological charts for years, I'd also had a few out of body experiences, dabbled in meditation and read widely on things of an esoteric nature.

Discussions with my workmate about her beliefs continued, but nothing appeared to penetrate the wall of defence I had built to rebuff the message I heard almost daily.

I had written off Christianity as impotent and outdated, filled with legalistic demands that I could never adhere to, besides my homosexuality ruled me well and truly out of ever being a believer. I was safe!

But as I was to discover, my confidence in my safety zone was to come to an abrupt halt. 

As I reflect back on the revelation that struck me as I sat in the doctors suite and the subsequent crisis that besieged me at the end of my teenage years I have no doubt they came as a direct result of the response of God to the prayers of Sylvana, her family and church. In the book Destined for the Throne, Paul E. Billheimer writes,

"Without violating the free moral responsibility of any individual, the Church, by means of persistent, believing intercession, may so release the Spirit of God upon a soul that he will find it easier to yield to the Spirit's tender wooing and be saved than to continue his rebellion."

It was those prayers I believe that brought me to my knees anxious for an answer to the hellish conditions that had pervaded my world and demolished the barriers that I had erected to keep myself at a distance from the clear call of the gospel.

A lot took place in those months of torment. Suffice to say I was in a pit of such despair that I became willing to try anything to get out. Sylvana's unswerving friendship and support had won my heart and I was hungry, even desperate to at least give this Jesus stuff a try.

Four people gathered to pray and lead me to Christ. I didn't know what was about to take place as I had not come from a Christian home and had little in the way of understanding of the Scriptures. All I did know was that I needed help and somehow I hoped the God of the Bible would make things different.

The night of my conversion began in a way that I had not anticipated. These nice Christians boldly began to confront me about my sinfulness. I was firmly informed that it was my sin which separated me from a holy, perfect God and punishment needed to be administered by Him, ultimately the consequence of my sin meant eternal separation from God and the penalty of hell.

If I had felt like I was in a pit of despair before, it paled into insignificance in comparison to that which I now experienced. The truth of what I heard burned deep and brought about an incredible, overwhelming sense of guilt and a knowing that I was powerless to rectify my situation. It was as though I had been plunged into angry sea in the darkest night without chance of rescue.

Fortunately and to my wonder their message did not end there.

I was then told of the grace of God, of how Jesus had come to take my place, to bear my punishment that I may be re-united with God the Father and enjoy a relationship with Him. Jesus Himself had suffered on my behalf so that I might know freedom. He was the only source of rescue.

All I had to do was believe and receive what Jesus had already done upon the cross and my past would be erased and I could begin life afresh.

I knew instinctively that truth was being set before me and although it sounded too good to be true the thought of having a new start was irresistible.

I was slowly and deliberately lead in a prayer of confession that covered every sin that I could ever remember committing. I'd been such an effective sinner that it took well over a couple of hours to work one by one through those things that needed to be brought into the open and repented of before God. I didn't find this easy yet somehow I thought it must be necessary.

I also had to deal with the offences and hurts that I felt had been perpetrated against me. Forgiving others who had wounded me throughout my life wasn't easy either but again I one by one released the pain of past events.

At the end of that exhausting exercise however, nineteen years of shame were lifted off my shoulders. The tangible release I experienced at that moment was truly awe inspiring. I felt clean on the inside and all trace of heaviness instantaneously disappeared. A lightness flooded my being like I had never experienced before.

But that was just the beginning.

I'm aware that there are those even within the ranks of the Church who would deny the influence demonic forces can have upon peoples lives but my Bible clearly points out that evil spirits can and do exert very real control over humanity.

Those who were ministering to me recognised the part that the demonic realm had played in my life and began to deal authoritatively with the work of demonic powers whose legal right to afflict me had been severed by my confession of sin and embracing of Jesus as Lord.

The process of deliverance from these forces again took some time but throughout the ordeal I became acutely aware of the power and love of God. The first notable result was a change in the way I spoke. I had developed a very effeminate voice yet immediately after this exorcism my speech became deeper and more masculine.

This was some introduction to Christendom! I'd never envisaged that this was how Christianity operated. God was real, He had power and He loved me!

However, things were not finished. To complete an already unforgettable night I was asked if I'd like to be baptised in the Holy Spirit. I didn't know what that was but my attitude by now was simply I'll take whatever is given. Within moments I spoke in a language that I had never learned. This astounded me but naturally and gracefully words of a foreign language of some description seemed to flow from within.

I went home in the early hours of the morning not knowing the full implications of what had taken place but one thing I was sure of . . . life could never be the same again.

Today, as I look back upon the early days of my walk with God I can see His hand clearly at play in my circumstances guiding people and resources across my path.

The church I attended embraced me without discriminating or fearing my past history. My pastor, a gentle wise man by the name of Emmanuel, discipled me in the basics of the Christian faith laying a foundation that would enable me to stand firm and setting an example as to a godly lifestyle.

To be a Christian came also with a price. It cost me every friendship that I'd had within the gay community. Once news broke about my 'getting religion' the friends dropped off quickly. Perhaps that wasn't a bad thing as it made it easier to deal with the issue of homosexuality.

To say I was never tempted again after my conversion by gay feelings would be a lie but there was one significant discernible difference. Prior to being born again I appeared to be driven and controlled by my sexual feelings, whereas now the temptation was an external bombardment against my mind which could be resisted. After a short time even those attacks that assaulted from the outside ceased.

Psalm 16:6 proclaims, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Over the last fourteen years since coming to Christ God has done many wonderful things in me and for me, but the one thing that I treasure above all is my relationship with my wife Louise and my three children Nathaniel, Alexander and Chloe.

God's transforming power is truly amazing!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT STEVE ABOUT HIS STORY CLICK HERE

Muslim No More

By Tennille Russo

During my first year of University I gave my heart and life to Jesus. Before I made this huge decision, in 1996, I had been a practicing Muslim for approximately 7 years. Below I have briefly outlined the major factors that led to my conversion.

Jesus as saviour – My journey into Christianity began with the claims that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. This statement intrigued me as Jesus is portrayed as an ordinary prophet in the Quran. His significance is minimal and almost never spoken of within the Islamic community. His life, from birth to death, is similarly told in the Quran as it is in the Bible, being that He was brought into being supernaturally and performed miracles on earth. However, the Quran teaches that Jesus was not crucified, but ascended to heaven with somebody resembling Him being nailed to the cross. Once I began to investigate more about Jesus, I found truth and consistency about his life in both the Quran and Bible. Jesus is mentioned 31 times in the Quran by name and referred to on many other occasions.

Jesus’ supernatural birth is mentioned in the Quran, of earthly mother but breathed into being by Allah (God) (Surah 3:45-47). Jesus’ miracles are also mentioned, such as healing the blind, proving his authority and greatness (Surah 3:49 and Surah 5:110). Jesus’ supernatural birth proves he is God’s son and yet I have found, then and now, it is a popular argument with Muslims in discrediting his greatness and superiority. The words, “God’s only son” are taken literally, and Muslims see this statement as horrific as they see that Allah would never have intimate relations with a human.

Relationship with God as a Muslim — I struggled with any sense of relationship with God. Although I was seeking diligently, I found it difficult to push through the set prayers and rituals. All prayers were spoken in Arabic, as it was compulsory and this completely removed any sense of emotion or dialogue. Prayer was purely a monologue and God seemed distant and out-of-reach. It was amazing to see that others (Christians) had an open and free relationship with God as though He stood next to them as a friend. He answered their prayers and their lives were full of love, happiness and excitement. This was extremely inviting and made me hunger for this kind of relationship with God.

Rules and regulations — In an effort to please Allah (God) and attain a level of acceptance I had to keep many rituals, rules and regulations. These were not just religious ceremonies performed at the Mosque but ingrained into everyday life and they made up the pillars (foundations) of Islam. One of the rituals I kept daily included 5 set prayers a day, where I had to undertake wudu (state of cleanliness through correct method of washing), wear prayer garments, pray on a holy mat and face the correct direction (that of the Kaba in Mecca). Ritually the prayers were all recited in Quranic Arabic and so a great deal of intimacy was lost. All of life was governed by regulations of cleanliness equating to that of holiness. For example, I couldn’t understand why a dog couldn’t touch my clothes with it’s nose, therefore not allowing me to pray to God…would He care what I was wearing?

Salvation by good works — I was taught that as a muslim I have a good angel on my right shoulder and a bad angel on my left, recording my every good and bad deed. Any violation against the Quran or Hadith (Muhammed’s teachings) resulted in a ‘black dot’ being placed on my heart and could only be ‘washed away’ with a good deed. In order to be accepted into heaven, the good book would have to outweigh the bad book. This meant that there was continual pressure as my salvation could never be guaranteed. I could never know for certain I was going to heaven. I always had this weight on my shoulder that I was doing wrong because I may have broken a rule (like delaying a prayer) unintentionally. In Jesus I am set free from any of these cares or worries because He has “paid the ultimate price” by dying on the cross.

Only one God or three? — One argument my muslim friends always had against Christianity was the trinity. They would disagree that there could not be a Father, Son or Holy Spirit but only one God. They argued that mention of anything else was heresy and yet when I looked deeper into the Quran, I found there was definite mention of our God in heaven, Jesus who was breathed into being and God’s Spirit. (Surah 5:110)

Lack of trust — I was always concerned that within the muslim community I felt there was a lack of trust. To me relationships seemed fear-based and people were always suspect of each other’s motives for doing anything (i.e. favour for someone without asking for anything in return). The Christians who I had contact with during my search, were genuinely friendly, understanding and open-handed with their trust and possessions. This was a huge contrast and was one of the most influential aspects of my conversion.

Different and adaptable versions of the Quran — Many muslims say that there is only one version of the Quran and argue there are many versions of the Bible making it unreliable. However my research found that there are very different versions of the Quran that are followed, depending on the translator. Often there are differences in opinion regarding which ‘rules and regulations’ should be followed in Islam and which ones can be cast aside for convenience sake. Mujtahids (recognised Islamic scholars) are allowed to circulate new rulings and interpretations of current Islamic Law, which made me question the authenticity and stability of the Quran.

A website I highly recommend is http://www.the-good-way.com. I have recommended this site to Muslims who are questioning and to Christians with Muslim friends, as it contains amazing testimonies as well as well-researched facts and comparisons between Christianity and Islam and ultimately testifies that Jesus is the way.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT TENNILLE ABOUT HER STORY CLICK HERE